“A woman’s highest calling is to lead a man to his soul, so as to unite him with Source. Her lowest calling is to seduce, separating man from his soul and leave him aimlessly wandering. A man’s highest calling is to protect woman, so she is free to walk the earth unharmed. Man’s lowest calling is to ambush and force his way into the life of a woman.” Cherokee Proverb
“Lots of people say they want real love but they have no idea what it means. When they come across someone who loves them unconditionally it can be very confronting, even painful. Rather than deal with that lack in themselves and take the opportunity to grow, they simply get rid of the source of that pain, and sometimes . . . that is you.” Aria E. Appleford
“People who want you in their life, have you in their lives. They don’t have to think about it or plan for the day when it might happens. They don’t have to make “the effort.” They don’t have a list of things that you have to do or be in order for them to have that relationship. We don’t get to hold today’s moments’s static, bookmarking their possibility in tomorrow. If you are planning to come back “some day” when it suits you, you will find that story written, the people have moved on without you and the opportunity you thought you were in control of has come and gone. ” Aria E. Appleford
“I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let people fool themselves. They didn’t bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn’t argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn’t.” Marilyn Monroe
“Our relationships give us a real, powerful opportunity for spiritual growth. Love is designed to initially show us everything that is not love: our relationships will trigger all of our wounding from our past experiences from our family of origin. If we have the conscious awareness, then we can start to heal a lot of these wounds. We can start to change our behavior; we can develop new ways of relating to ourselves and other people that support our spiritual growth. Once we’ve moved through that level of awareness, then love can show us everything that is love. If we can understand that our relationships are designed to show us the reflection of everything that is still unresolved in us, then we have powerful opportunities to use them as a platform for spiritual growth.” Andrew Barnes
“I love unmade beds. I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment. I love the look in people’s eyes when they realize they’re in love. I love the way people look when they first wake up and they’ve forgotten their surroundings. I love the gasp people take when their favorite character dies. I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds. I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time. I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams. Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words.” Unknown
“Relationships do not cause pain and unhappiness.
They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you.”
– Eckhart Tolle
Your feelings, the energies alive in your body right now, were not ‘caused’ by anyone else, and nobody else can take them away. Nobody else is responsible for your feelings. This realisation can end the blame game once and for all, and leave you standing in your true place of power – the present moment.
Yes, others may trigger pain and sorrow in you, they may contribute to the field in which your old, unresolved pain can resurface, but they cannot make you feel how you feel. Nobody can make you happy, nobody can make you unhappy. You are only invited, constantly, to meet what remains unmet in yourself, to touch what you never wanted to touch in yourself, to explore the field.
Making others responsible for how we feel is the beginning of all violence, both internal and external, all conflict between people, and ultimately all wars between nations.
Let others off the hook. Honour what is alive in you right now. Learn to hold your own feelings like beloved children, however intensely they burn and scream for attention. Celebrate the aliveness in your hurt, the vibrancy of your disappointment, the electricity of your sadness. Kneel before the power in your anger, honour its burning creativity.
From this place of deep acceptance, you do not become weak and passive. Quite the opposite. You simply enter the world from a place of nonviolence, and therefore immense creative power, and you are open to the possibility of deep listening, honest dialogue, and unexpected change.
In suffering you become small. In love, anything is possible.” Jeff Foster
“It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you. Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring — they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay. It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unlovable or invisible. It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are — that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others — is a strength. Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need. Because despite what you feel, you are not too much. You are not too sensitive or too needy. You are thoughtful and empathetic. You are compassionate and kind. And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough. ” Daniell Koepke
“I only feel close to people who arouse my energy, who make enormous demands of me, who are capable of enriching me with experience, pain, people who do not doubt my courage, or my toughness. People who do not believe me naive or innocent, but who challenge my keenest wisdom, who have the courage to treat me like a woman in spite of the fact that they are aware of my vulnerability.” Anaïs Nin